Wow. It has been 2 1/2 years since I posted a blog.
How time flies. I can't even begin to know where to start this...
This has been the hardest, worst, and best two years of my life. There has been so much loss, separation, fear, and fighting. yet, on the other hand, so much more of it was love, freedom, rescue, restoration, and awakening. The last 12 months have been especially enlightening. It was like last New Year's Day I was introduced to myself for the first time, and have since been getting to know me. I know how strange that can sound, but its so very accurate. I have never been more aware of who I am, who I have been, and who I am meant to be. Its a process and I am happy to walk in it.
I have come to realize how much love means. I have learned things about love I never believed could be true. I have been shown love languages I didn't know existed. I have grasped its importance in a whole new way.
We have been rescued from the Law and freed from condemnation, so Jesus was once asked what the greatest commandment was. His answer was very simple, yet huge: LOVE! Love Him more than anything and love your neighbor as yourself. Nothing is more important than love. Love Papa. Love others. Love. That's it! Everything else falls under that! Just as the Law "fell" away under His love for us.
Love has always been a huge part of my life. But in my perception, it was always an outward flow...I just didn't realize it. I love to love. I always have. And many times I would say I love love, but I don't think I did. Not until the last couple years taught me more and showed me a picture of love. I actually think I believed I was the only person that knew how to love. And yet, I didn't even choose to do it well before. It was a risk. A vulnerability. A mistake. It is a heart broken, refusing healing, that sees love as a mistake. No matter what. So walls are erected, and a ceiling slammed into place, and doors and windows sealed up and the heart is "protected". In reality, we have just convinced ourselves not to receive love as truth, and not to love well...UNTIL... a person/people love(s) so well and so relentlessly, that we have to open up some, suddenly realizing what we have been missing all along and wanting in. Once that world is seen as it can truly be, there is no way we would ever want to go back to a sad, lonely version of it. All I want to do now is love. Well, Lavishly, Purely, Constantly,... and without fear. That doesn't mean I always will. It means I will always try. I have had a few good teachers. And Papa is teaching me so much more than any of them ever thought about. This perspective is amazing. This freedom is intoxicating. This love is Moving!
This is a mess.
So am I.
We all are.
Enter: love.
We are a loved mess.
You are loved.
You are important.
You are needed.
You are not an accident.
You are not forgettable.
You are not replaceable.
You are beautiful.
I love you.
Papa loves you more.
He trusts you.
