New Year's Eve/Day of 2011, He did it again, but in a much more powerful way. The story of that night still blows my mind. I've never been in such awe, presence, or freedom. It was amazing and powerful. More than I ever dreamed. The story of healing, freedom, truth, release, and purpose.
In the end, a new name had been given by Papa. A name that spoke to my wounds and insecurities in the deepest possible way. A name that proved He knew me, He saw my pain, He was there the whole time, He loved me anyway. This much.
That new name was Havilah.
It is a Hebrew name.
It means:
1. The place in Eden where exceptionally pure gold is found.
2. to dance
3. strength
4. to collect or gather
5. to show, tell, or make known
6. to worship
Wow. He really does see me.
With a word, He has spoken...
healing to my gaping wounds.
truth of purpose into my lies of uselessness.
restoration to the pieces I thought I'd lost.
value to my sense of worthlessness.
innocence to my deepest shame.
There is so much more to our stories than we could ever imagine. Papa does see and know all. He does save our tears in a bottle. He not only knows how to use our mistakes for our good, but has every intention of doing so. There is nothing that He cannot restore, redeem, heal, and use for our good.
He loves so much. So well. Perfectly.
And that's all he asks of us, really.
1. Love God above all.
2. Love others as yourself.
LOVE. That's it. Everything else can appropriately fall under one of these.
Nothing is of value without love.
But we are of great value because we are loved and we love.
tuesday, february 3, 2009
Written in Stone
So, tonight I was in a Bible study that is led by an extreme, thought provoking, wall-breaching, Spirit filled prophetess. Also there was a great friend of mine who is a phenomonoly gifted teacher, proclaimer, purpose finding, lesson living truth seeker. That being said, you will understand how I reached this point tonight. I was asked what my name meant (how THOUGHT PROVOKING), and of course shouted out the blatant obvious of how I live in it..."DIRT" yes maam, my name means dirt.Since then the TRUTH has been SEARCHED out and more has come to light (one may even say the light of day or DAWN). (see why I explained the two at the begining? now you know where they each fit in without my having to dialogue lol). Turns out the following is true:
Tera- Dirt, Earth
h- exhale, the outbreathing, or as in the breath of life God breathed into Adam, or the way He changed the names of Abram and Sarai to include His breath of life into AbraHam and SaraH
Jane- Merciful
God has spoken over a name of ordinary uselessness and turmoil with His breath, His essence, to cause life to spring forth from this pile of dirt to proclaim mercy to the ends of the Earth. If that does not cause me to live in the promise, I do not know how else to be inspired to seek truth or live in His exhale.
Just to add another point, my name at birth was :
Jacqueline- protector
For any of you who really know me or have endeavored to breach my walls, you understand how hard I strive to not be KNOWN, I am a protector of myself and am at this point in my life being called to relinquish that hold I covet over my own pride and secrecy and illusion of security through hiding. I have recently come to realize that I have wanted a life of masquerade parties and basement living in every sence of the meaning they imply.
But, just as my earthly name was changed, so it will be again.
We are told in Revelation that we will be given a new name written on a stone, known only to us by the creater of life Himself. TRUE Father will give us our purposed name when it has been fulfilled.
Turns out you cannot be a protector of self AND an effective proclaimation of His mercy to all the earth at the same time. How appropriate that the name given to me by my earthly father meant protector and when he abandoned his post as my earthly protector it was changed to a name in which my purpose was exhaled over me by my Heavenly Father. A name that will cause me to break the chains of self preservation and proclaim His name and great mercy to the ends of the Earth!
Tera- Dirt, Earth
h- exhale, the outbreathing, or as in the breath of life God breathed into Adam, or the way He changed the names of Abram and Sarai to include His breath of life into AbraHam and SaraH
Jane- Merciful
God has spoken over a name of ordinary uselessness and turmoil with His breath, His essence, to cause life to spring forth from this pile of dirt to proclaim mercy to the ends of the Earth. If that does not cause me to live in the promise, I do not know how else to be inspired to seek truth or live in His exhale.
Just to add another point, my name at birth was :
Jacqueline- protector
For any of you who really know me or have endeavored to breach my walls, you understand how hard I strive to not be KNOWN, I am a protector of myself and am at this point in my life being called to relinquish that hold I covet over my own pride and secrecy and illusion of security through hiding. I have recently come to realize that I have wanted a life of masquerade parties and basement living in every sence of the meaning they imply.
But, just as my earthly name was changed, so it will be again.
We are told in Revelation that we will be given a new name written on a stone, known only to us by the creater of life Himself. TRUE Father will give us our purposed name when it has been fulfilled.
Turns out you cannot be a protector of self AND an effective proclaimation of His mercy to all the earth at the same time. How appropriate that the name given to me by my earthly father meant protector and when he abandoned his post as my earthly protector it was changed to a name in which my purpose was exhaled over me by my Heavenly Father. A name that will cause me to break the chains of self preservation and proclaim His name and great mercy to the ends of the Earth!
